Rude Jesus is not gay

So I found this the other day, it claims to be the only automated face reader in the world. You can plug your face in and get a rating of how intelligent, ambitious, honourable, gay and sociable you are, among other things..just by looking at your face. It’s like modern day magic!

So, of course I put my own face it to see just how intelligent I am, unfortunately the only picture I had on hand was this:

But it doesn’t matter, the face analyser is magical and can see through the sillyness in that picture, can’t it? Of course!

  • Intelligence 6.0 Average Intelligence
  • Risk 5.0 Low Risk
  • Ambition 6.0 Average Ambition
  • Gay Factor 1.6 Very Low Gay Factor
  • Honor 5.1 Average Honor
  • Politeness 5.3 Average Politeness
  • Income 6.5 $30,000 – $50,000
  • Sociability 5.7 Average Sociability
  • Promiscuity 3.7 Low Promiscuity

I am a Theta Academic: Not as intelligent as Alpha and Beta academics, but still intelligent. Expected Occupations: Pharmacist, Accountant, Teacher,

Journalist, Computer Technician – oh, and apparently I’m female 

Then I got to thinking, actually, I wasn’t thinking as much as looking on my hard drive for random pictures of people’s faces, and found this one:

  • Intelligence 6.0 Average Intelligence
  • Risk 5.1 Average Risk
  • Ambition 6.1 Average Ambition
  • Gay Factor 1.4 Very Low Gay Factor
  • Honor 4.8 Average Honor
  • Politeness 5.7 Average Politeness
  • Income 6.3 $30,000 – $50,000
  • Sociability 5.8 Average Sociability
  • Promiscuity 4.2 Low Promiscuity

Apparently, Jesus flipping the bird is a Beta Academic: Not as intelligent or ambitious as Alpha Academics, but still focused on being materially

successful. Expected Occupations: Lawyer, Doctor, Investment Analyst, Accountant, Architect, Engineer, Professor, Researcher, Psychologist 

And of course:

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

…apparently isn’t even human, this stupid face analyser is obviously faulty!

What does all this prove? I’m as smart as Jesus flipping the bird and not gay at all, phew!